they need to just BURY HIM!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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