How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
