fuck your aforementioned shoe
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
