You made me cry and you don't even care
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
