a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
