you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
