ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
