Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
