Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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