i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
