so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
