But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
