i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
