He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
