I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
