ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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