Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
