The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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