About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
