just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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