Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
