i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
