He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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