no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Too much gin, very little bucket
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
