Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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