She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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