I didn't shave. On purpose
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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