what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
