Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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