he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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