you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
