i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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