How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
