What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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