I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
