So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
