if i can run in heels then i can drive
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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