I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
