the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
