I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
