shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
