So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
