you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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