why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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