Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We have started to decorate penises.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
