Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
