I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
