I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
