google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I cut my penus on the lid.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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