hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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