Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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