I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
