it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
