so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was confusing and full of hummus
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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