i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
