Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
