My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize