i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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