Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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