it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i used baking grease as lip gloss
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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