Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
