i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I am available for nakedness
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
