Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
