Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
