Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
