I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
